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    卡耐基人際關系指南

    作者: 阮一峰

    日期: 2012年6月21日

    卡耐基(Dale Carnegie,1888-1955)是美國暢銷書作家,主要研究人際關系和自我修養。他的成名作是1936年出版的《如何贏得朋友和獲得影響力》(How to Win Friends and Influence People),該書大獲成功,英文版銷量就超過1500萬本,全球銷量據說與《圣經》一個級別。(不知為何,中文版譯名為《人性的弱點》,中學時我還以為是心理學著作。)

    通常,我不看這類人生指南的書,因為感覺它們在推銷一種陳腐的價值觀,而且我也不太相信,它們真的能有多少作用。但是,我偶然讀到了這本書的大綱,大吃一驚,發現自己完全錯了,它真的是一本很好的”人際關系實戰指南“。這些年來,自己的一些模模糊糊的想法,在書中得到了系統的清晰表達。如何處理人際關系,如何得到一種較理想的人生,它給出了非常好的建議。

    一、人際關系的基本技巧 #

    • 不要批評、譴責、抱怨。
    • 真誠地欣賞他人。
    • 激發他人的渴望。

    二、獲得他人好感的六種方法 #

    • 對他人真的感興趣。
    • 微笑。
    • 所有語言中最甜蜜、最重要的聲音,就是當一個人聽到自己的名字。
    • 做一個優秀的聽眾,鼓勵對方談論他自己。
    • 談對方感興趣的話題。
    • 讓對方感覺自己很重要,并且你是真誠地這樣做。

    三、如何得到他人的支持 #

    • 徹底贏得爭議的唯一方法,就是避免爭議。
    • 尊重他人的意見,絕不說”你錯了“。
    • 一旦發現自己不對,立刻無保留地承認。
    • 以一種友好的方式開場。
    • 盡快讓對方說”是這樣的“。
    • 讓他人多多發言。
    • 讓他人感覺,你說的是他的想法。
    • 誠懇地站在他人的角度,看待問題。
    • 對他人的想法和主張,抱有理解和同情。
    • 訴諸更高尚的動機。
    • 把你的想法,用故事表達。
    • 激起對方的好勝心。

    四、如何做領導者 #

    • 以表揚和真誠的欣賞開場。
    • 婉轉地指出他人的錯誤。
    • 批評他人之前,先談自己的錯誤。
    • 設問,而不是下達命令。
    • 讓他人有面子。
    • 贊揚每一個細微的進步,衷心地表達你的認可,慷慨地給出贊美之詞。
    • 給他人應有的榮譽。
    • 不斷地鼓勵,讓犯錯看上去是一件小事。
    • 他人做你建議的事情時,讓他們心情愉快。

    最后生成于 2018-7-9 07:42:01

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